THE BTS OF THE CAPITAL CITY CRIME
On December 4, 2024, Delhi witnessed one of the most terrifying crimes in its recent times: the triple murder of a retired army officer, his wife, and their daughter. The perpetrator, Arjun Tanwar, a 20-year-old state-level boxer, was caught for this heinous
crime. The causes underlying this set it apart from other such cases, as the brutality of this murder clearly stresses the prominence of psychological factors behind every screen.
A Recap of the Crime
The person caught committing the crime was Arjun Tanwar, a member of this family. He murdered his own family members using his father’s Army-issued knife. This incident took place in their home in Deoli village, located in the south of Delhi. He carried out the murder in a pre-planned manner, targeting his sister Kavitha first, then his father Rajesh and his mother Komal when she resisted. After committing the murders, Arjun decided to destroy the evidence and fabricate a diegesis, showing no signs of guilt for
committing a crime.
The Apparent Motive
The deeply-ingrained resentment from his father’s treatment, fueled by the perceived parental favoritism for his sister and a growing sense of inadequacy when compared to her, made his family fall prey to his vicious impulsiveness. His post-crime activities showed a lack of remorse.
The Psychology BTS
Parental Pressure and Societal Expectations
Arjun was a state-level boxer, but this wasn’t his father’s pride. Arjun’s father was unsatisfied with his grades and wanted him to focus attention on academics and in disciplining himself. For a young adult, this was overwhelming because his achievements were overlooked. He was expected to do something that wasn’t of his interest. He struggled to meet these expectations and was continually humiliated for failing.
Psychology Explained
In cultures and societies where success is much attributed to family honor, young individuals often face the pressure to conform. Parents in such societies often wish their children to fetch them great honor and respect. Here, children are forced to meet these demands in order to conform and belong to society. Failing to meet those standard upsets them and can lead to internal feelings of shame and inability. In extreme cases, they become rebellious and violent
Familial Dynamics and Resentment
Arjun’s relationship with his family was not healthy and lacked open communication. His achievements and talents were left unvalued. He felt belittled and humiliated by his father’s constant demands. He perceived it as unfair and overly harsh. He needed
constant validation, which, when denied, made him rebellious. Holding onto these feelings and not being able to speak them out caused anxiety and frustration in him. Over time, these unresolved issues created a toxic environment.
Psychology Explained
The mistreatment from his family and feelings of being wronged made him resentful. Resentment is a powerful emotional state that must be addressed. If not, this can possibly lead to aggression and violence. Lack of communication within the family or
relationships can exacerbate such feelings, as seen in this case.
Sibling Rivalry and Perceived Favoritism
Arjun’s sister Kavita was a high-achieving individual. His parents frequently made comparisons with his sister, which caused him feelings of inferiority. He believed that his parents favored her and planned to leave the family properties to her. This delusional
belief, along with the pressures of sibling comparison, may have intensified his feelings
of inadequacy.
Psychology Explained
Sibling rivalry is a common and usually less intense familial conflict, but here, Arjun was highly triggered by it. The humiliating and comparative family environment caused high levels of anxiety and frustration in him. Comparisons and unresolved conflicts can give way to feelings of social comparison and jealousy, which over time can lead to brutal aggression.
Emotional Dysregulation
Despite being a victim of familial and societal pressures, Arjun could have channeled his uncontrollable impulses into transforming himself into a great sportsperson. But he gave up on this approach and felt overwhelmed by these stressors. Arjun’s inability to manage these complex family situations and emotions escalated his anger, resentment, and jealousy into violence. This action suggests a lack of emotional stability, which is a sign of neuroticism.
Psychology Explained
Neurotic anxiety can be caused due to various reasons, but in this case, it was due to an unhappy childhood, unmet emotional needs, and lack of support. Unhelpful coping mechanisms, years of suppressed anger, and frustration can result in violent outbursts. These neurotic feelings usually come out as anger outbursts, suicidal, or homicidal thoughts. In this case, it exploded and resulted in murder.
Time for Change
It’s high time we recognized that childhood and parenting styles go beyond subjective experiences. They are the most powerful forces that shape a person’s life. The way children are nurtured, disciplined, and supported will reflect in their later life. The interpersonal skills, emotional stability, and overall well-being of adults are greatly molded by their early childhood life. The family environment and parental and societal upbringing influence the attitudes and behaviors of a person.
Appreciating a Child’s Uniqueness
Every child is born with unique abilities and characteristics. Recognizing and embracing them helps build strong personalities. Celebrating small wins, providing feedback on their efforts, and encouraging them to pursue their passions will greatly empower them.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution cannot be ignored in a safe family environment. This will also promote problem-solving and decision-making skills in children. It becomes very important because unresolved conflicts are those that lead to resentment and detachment.
Avoiding Comparisons
Comparisons, especially among siblings, can lead to rivalry, jealousy, and feelings of inferiority. This destroys the love and respect in the family. Avoiding comparisons and providing feedback on their individual performances can support growth and well-being.
Providing Emotional Support
Emotional support fosters a sense of security and belonging within the family. It helps children rely on their family for support, rather than expecting a third person to resolve their issues. Young adults especially need this emotional support due to their impulsive nature at this stage of their life. This can only be possible if the family is bound by healthy conflict resolution and conversations.
Equality
Equality can breed accountability and mutual respect within the members of the family.
A healthy family is created by the equal treatment and balance of responsibilities between its members.
At Bhavana Healing We Emphasize Positive Parenting
Parenting is not a role but a responsibility. We encourage parents to be kind to their children, understand their problems, and provide emotional support when they need it. Parents should embrace their children’s uniqueness and special talents. Imposing your dreams onto them can be hazardous to their well-being; instead, guiding them to choose their own career is what’s needed the most. Having friendly conversations within the family can boost relationships. Conflict resolution should not be ignored or belittled. This can actually strengthen family ties.
In today’s world, child-rearing is like an art. It needs your attention, efforts, knowledge, and understanding. It is as delicate as holding a brush to paint. To parents, this is just a part of their life. But for children, the way and the environment in which they are brought up and their relationship with their parents are all that define their later life.
So together, join our campaign in making parenting child-friendly!
PARENTING SAFE: NURTURING LOVE, PROTECTING LIVES
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